Written on Friday 26th January 2018.
As I write this on Friday afternoon on day 3 after surgery,
I am home.
Last night wasn't great as I woke at half past midnight
wishing it was morning. Fortunately I did manage to sleep again until 5am.
 |
| Forcing a smile first thing in the morning to send to my children via what's app |
I believe after several weeks or months (I need to check my
paperwork to find out when), sleeping on my side will be possible with a pillow
between my knees to prevent the leg of the new hip crossing over the other
leg.
So I just fidgetted and shuffled to get as comfy as I could
to get to sleep.
In the morning, I was delighted that I managed to get my
teeth brushed and I had a flannel wash all by myself. Then I was told the
great news that I could have a shower! Such a simple thing but I was so
thrilled.
When Richard arrived he helped me get showered and dressed
then loaded up with armfuls of medication and instructions.
We headed home. Upon stepping into our house I sobbed and
sobbed. Big ugly tears. The same thing had happened when I'd spent a
month in hospital when I was ten. I had put that down to how long I'd been away
from home. This time it was only a few days and yet the emotions are feeling so
intense.
I have a love/hate relationship with social media which
might sound strange as I used to do elements of social media in a previous job and
I'm a blogger which often goes hand in hand with social media- but in all
honesty I'm not a fan of spending too much time on it. Yet my online friends
have been a lifeline through this...from waking up in the morning to find
friendly Twitter messages waiting for me to lovely friends writing encouraging
words on a Facebook status. With what's app groups supporting me with prayer
and kindness and Instagram friends following my progress as I make baby steps
of improvement each day. I'm truly grateful!
You'd think being at home would be helpful but I found the
feelings of frustration and feeling useless have just intensified -as I discover I can't reach down to pick things up from a
low surface, struggling to stand and sit without anything to hold onto.
The actual walking feels a doddle compared to the intensity
of the emotions.
The physical pain at the moment is very little as it's being
well controlled with pain relief medication. It's more a feeling of
stiffness around the joint and intense muscular ache around the wound
which I suppose figures given all the big muscles that had to be cut
through.
 |
| feeling cold (possibly from blood thinners) and can't get comfy sitting or lying down |
So overall I still haven't reached the turning point of
feeling it was worth it. At the moment my 'before' was still better than the
'after'.
I am massively hopeful that I will have no regrets about it
at some future point. I am just keeping track of when that turning point will
be in case I ever need a re-replacement or the other hip doing in future (I
sincerely hope not on both counts).
My family are brilliant and I mean my wider family
too.
Miss T is home from school and has got her doctors kit out
to check on me! She also made a "do not push (poosh)" sign for me to
wear so that no-one knocks me over.
 |
| The 'Do Not Poosh at all" sign Miss T made for me |
So another day of highs and lows. I don't think I've ever
been so moany in my life as I have been these few days- I'm usually a coper not
a cryer. Everyone reassures me that's normal and to be
expected.
Instagram video of me walking with crutches in hospital before going home...
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